Why did the good people at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., opt to hamstring the credibility of their athletic program by apparently opening the dictionary and picking a nickname at random? Evergreen get points for originality, but…come on. The geoduck is not actually a duck; it’s a mollusk native to the Pacific Northwest that, at anywhere from one to three pounds, stands as the world’s largest burrowing clam. It’s also sufficiently phallic that this family-friendly website chooses not to provide a link to a photo. Google it yourself if you must.
We will, however, provide you with the lyrics of the school’s fight song. As you might expect, it’s aggressively weird.
Go, Geoducks go,
Through the mud and the sand,
let’s go.
Siphon high, squirt it out,
swivel all about,
let it all hang out.
Go, Geoducks go,
Stretch your necks when the tide
is low
Siphon high, squirt it out,
swivel all about,
let it all hang out.