There Is No 4th Place

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Bravo to Germany for it’s “little final” win 3-2. But with all due respect (with the exception for the fishy stinkitude of a yet again awful Bastian Schweinsteiger), Uruguay gets the sporting “moral” tie on this one.

This side–as it’s done this entire Cup–played at such a higher level than many expected, and showed such talent and heart tonight, that this consolation final will forever go down in my mind as a draw (my brain’s eye has decided that last free kick by Diego Forlan went in, rather than finding wood). Again, Germany is Number Three–which I don’t contest–but in obtaining it’s Number Four spot, I think Uruguay proved it was actually Number Three Prime.

Okay, sorry to be a total bitch (but that’s what I do): but this match also confirmed 2010 as the World Cup’s lowest point of goal keeping, ever. My oh my. Even tonight, most goals scored would have been kept out by a semi-tipsy bouncer, not to mention Peter Shilton or Faboulous Fab Barthez (or, needless to say, the Mohammed Atta-esque keeping of Harald Schumacher. And I just dare you to be “deeply offended” about that, too).

I serious you: countries need to start paying keepers more–start treating keepers like stars–so rising hopefuls in the cage keep applying themselves instead of dumping the gloves in the hopes of becoming position players–or hedge fund humps. I think we’re all a tad tired of watching utterly lame goalies shout at their team mates like this: