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The two Ghana stars–including the supposed brilliant Mensah (hey, he plays in Europe. Must be good, right)–make mookie-stinks all over themselves not daring to Take The Freaking Shot, while the last shooter from Uruguay rubs their face (and that of the footballing world en masse) with a Pananenka! I don’t mean to rob Uruguay any of its glory for getting into the semi-final–contrary: hats off, and I hope you go all the way. Alas, I fear we may see some empty seats from here on out. Too bad.

Oh, and Dear FIFA: consider my naked-players-getting-dressed idea. When a quarterfinal is decided by a Panenka, it’s a measure of how lame football has gotten.